The fascinating thing about language

Muffin the mule

We start, as ever, with a sizeable snigger at the wonderful world of linguistic gaffes.

Thousands of fire safety leaflets in Scotland have been withdrawn because a wrong translation in the leaflet's Urdu version mixed 'gadda' (cushion) with a 'gadha' (donkey).

The leaflet, entitled 'Fire Kills - You Can Prevent It', was produced by the Scottish Executive and has been made available to the public for five years. Its piquant mis-translation has only now been brought to the attention of the Strathclyde Fire and Rescue Service.

The leaflet's English version reads: "Never jump straight out of a window. Lower yourself on to cushions, etc."

But language experts charged with putting the passage into Urdu - a large minority in Scotland speak the language - translated it as "Never jump out of a window straight. Put yourself on a donkey."

The leaflets, produced in thousands, have now mostly been destroyed.

Bashir Ahmad, a Scottish Nationalist Party councillor for Glasgow Shawlands, which has a high proportion of Urdu speakers, said: "How can you mix up cushions with a donkey? My constituents will be laughing that such a silly translation has been made."

Urdu expert Bassneem Kareem, told the local media: "It is a very big error - ridiculous and stupid."

A Scottish Executive spokesperson apologised for the error and said: "Since this leaflet was translated in 2001, quality control on translated material has been improved by running a system that includes proof-reading."

Rosemary Dale, founder of the Scottish Borders Donkey Sanctuary, remarked: "I would not let the people who made this translation anywhere near my donkeys."

Play School

There was interesting news for Dads everywhere this month, as researchers at the University of Carolina in the USA made the startling claim that in two-parent families where both parents worked, the father had more influence on the development of a child's language than the mother.

By analysing videos of the parents playing with their children, the researchers discovered that the children whose father had a more varied vocabulary had a greater language development rate when they were tested after a year. The mother's type of vocabulary did not have a noticeable effect.

The study also looked at the effect of child care on the development of language. Expressive language development was found to be high among the children who'd been in child care for three years, but the variety of vocabulary was low compared to the children who stayed at home.

Nadya Panscofar, author of the study, noted: "Most previous studies on early language development focused on mothers."

"These findings underscore that for two-parent, dual earner families, fathers should be included in all efforts to improve language development and school readiness," she concluded.

The study did not ascertain if the child's first utterings included the phrases "cross the ball, ya muppet!" and "I'm just popping down the pub for a quick one, darling…"

Alphabet Zoo

It was once said by a clever English-speaking wit (no, not the editor of 'The Lingo-ist', incredibly) that "The English language... not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."

This fascinating concept sprang to mind this month, with the publication of a dictionary of Hinglish - a hybrid of English and south Asian languages, used both in Asia and the UK - written by Baljinder Mahal, a teacher from Derby.

Entitled 'The Queen's Hinglish', the work has given timely exposure to this compound language used on the Indian sub-continent (but also within British Asian families) with English words blending with Punjabi, Urdu and Hindi to enliven standard English.

"Much of it comes from banter - the exchanges between the British white population and the Asians," Ms Mahal says. "It's also sometimes a secret language, which is being used by lots of British Asians, but it's never been picked up on."

This collision of languages has generated some spicy phrases. If you're feeling 'glassy' it means you need a drink. A 'timepass' is a way of distracting yourself and a hooligan is a 'badmash'. If you need to bring a meeting forward, you do the opposite of postponing - in Hinglish you can 'prepone'.

In south Asia, Hinglish has been given a modern, fashionable spin by its use on music channels and in advertising. And it's memorably appeared in the UK on programmes such as 'Goodness Gracious Me' and the 'Kumars at Number 42', with a catchphrase about 'chuddies' (underpants).

The arrival of Hinglish and the influence of Indian words on English are also a reflection of the rise of the Indian sub-continent as an economic power-house.

Linguistic expert David Crystal has described India as having a "unique position in the English-speaking world".

"It's a linguistic bridge between the major first-language dialects of the world, such as British and American English, and the major foreign-language varieties, such as those emerging in China and Japan."

So the next time you need to bring that darned Hooligans Anonymous gathering forward to distract yourself from an overwhelming desire for beer, you can shout out loud, with no little authority, "I'm feeling well glassy, so I must prepone the badmash meeting as a timepass".

Mysterious Cities of Gold

Mapuche Indians in Chile are trying to take global software giant Microsoft to court in a legal battle which raises the question of whether anyone can ever actually 'own' the language they speak.

The row was sparked by Microsoft's recent decision to launch its Windows software package in Mapuzugun, a Mapuche tongue spoken by around 400,000 indigenous Chileans, mostly in the south of the elongated South American country.

At the launch, Microsoft, said, in its own inimitable style, that it wanted to help Mapuches embrace the digital age and ''open a window so that the rest of the world can access the cultural riches of this indigenous people.''

But Mapuche tribal leaders have berated the American company for violating their cultural and collective heritage by translating the software into Mapuzugun without their permission, and have accused Microsoft and its founder Bill Gates of 'intellectual piracy'.

"We feel like Microsoft and the Chilean Education Ministry have overlooked us by deciding to set up a committee to study the issue without our consent, our participation and without the slightest consultation," said Aucan Huilcaman, one of the Mapuche leaders behind the legal action.

Microsoft declined to comment on the case, saying they could not do so until it is legally resolved. The company has translated Windows into dozens of indigenous American languages in the past, including Mohawk, Quechua and Inuktitut, but has never faced such vocal opposition.

If history is anything to go by, however, the software behemoth could have a fight on its hands.

The Mapuche are renowned for their ferocity. They were one of the few tribes in South America to successfully resist both the Incas and the Spanish.

The Mapuche took their case to a court in the southern city of Temuco earlier this month but a judge ruled it should be considered in Santiago. A judge in the capital is due to decide in the next two weeks whether Microsoft has a case to answer.

Mapuzugun is spoken by about two-thirds of Chile's Mapuches, who make up four percent of the population.

It is unknown at this time if Monsieur Jacques Dupont of 69 Rue des Pines, Bordeaux, will follow the same legal route after Microsoft's daring plundering of the French language, nor if Mr Charles Smith of 88 Puddlethump Lane, Colchester, will take on the company for stealing his native language of English.