The fascinating thing about language
In 2005 a crack language unit was sent to Coventry by a pedant court for a linguistic crime they probably did indeed commit. These men promptly escaped from a jargon-filled stronghold with their Oxford commas and split infinitives to the relative freedom of the cyber-underground. Today, still wanted by the grammar police, they survive as soldiers of (mis)fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can make you think, and if you can find them, maybe you should hire 'The fascinating thing about language' team...
Bladder trouble
Much schadenfreude was on display on various news websites in August at the cautionary tale of a painful mistranslation by a Welsh council, and we thought that we'd do the honourable thing and...join in.
A 'cyclists dismount' sign between Penarth and Cardiff, erected by Vale of Glamorgan council, had somehow become 'llid y bledren dymchwelyd' in Welsh - literally 'bladder inflammation upset'.
It is thought that an online machine translation led to confusion between cyclists and cystitis. The temporary sign at roadworks is to be replaced.
Welsh-speaking cyclist Matt Lloyd, 27, said: "When I read the sign I thought someone was having a laugh. I've never even had a bladder disease."
Welsh language expert Owain Sgiv told the South Wales Echo: "It certainly does not mean anything like cyclists dismount."
A spokesman for Vale of Glamorgan Council's highways department said: "A mistake has been made and we are investigating."Amended signs are being made and will be put up as soon as possible".
We make no additional comment other than to refer you to the part about online machine translation...
Headache
A song about Zinedine Zidane's head-butt on Italy defender Marco Materazzi in the World Cup final is already topping the charts in France - it could now be recorded in Spanish, Japanese and Italian, according to reports.
The song has become the best-selling ringtone in France, just three weeks after Les Bleus lost the Germany 2006 showpiece to Italy.
'Coup de Boule' ('Head-butt') was recorded one day after the final and started life as an e-mail attachment before Warner Music France offered to distribute the song.
"As of today, it's number one in the French charts. It has had an exceptional start, better than we could ever have hoped for," said Thierry Chassagne, President of Warner Music.
"It's all really thanks to the Internet and the very speedy release of these products. Five years ago this would not have been possible."
Insomnia
Researchers at the University of Arizona have proved that babies' naps are important, but not just for resting - they hone the infants' linguistic abilities.
Psychologists Rebecca Gomez, Richard Bootzin, and Lynn Nadel found that babies who got a little daytime siesta were more likely to exhibit an advanced level of learning, known as abstraction.
The researchers played recordings of 'phrases' from an artificial language to 48 fifteen-month-old infants during a learning session until the babies became familiar with them. These phrases contained three units, with the first and last unit forming a relationship. Even though these are nonsensical sounds, the language shares some similarity with structure found in English sentences.
The infants who did not sleep recognised the phrases they had learned earlier, but the babies who had slept in between lessons were able to generalise their knowledge of the predictive relationships to new phrases, according to the study published in Psychological Science.
Gomez interprets this as evidence that napping supports abstract learning - the ability to detect a general pattern in new information.
Lingo24 management has now ordered all of its employees to take at least 3 siestas a day. No, not really.
Speech impediment
An 18-year-old Welsh-speaking lifeguard from Blaenau Ffestiniog has been credited with raising the profile of the Welsh language through his appearance on Channel 4's reality show, Big Brother.
Glyn Wise finished second in the final live eviction, losing out in the race for the £100,000 top prize to eventual winner Pete Bennett. The Welsh-language television channel S4C put on a special broadcast in front of hundreds of well-wishers in Glyn's home town to commemorate the event.
Glyn, whose first language is Welsh, said it had been difficult speaking mostly in English in the house but he "got used to it". The teenager received a message after the show from Welsh First Minister Rhodri Morgan which read: "Your passion and love for our country and language has been an inspiration for other young people and you've certainly put your home town of Blaenau Ffestiniog and Wales on the map. Your conversations in the house with Imogen have certainly raised the profile of the Welsh language to a new audience all over the world."
A different story from the early days of the show, when Glyn was given a telling-off by Big Brother for speaking Welsh with fellow contestant Imogen Thomas from Llanelli. Later Welsh-language conversations between the pair were sensibly broadcast with a subtitled translation.
Glyn has been accepted to study at Bangor University and plans to become a Welsh teacher.
The other main highlight of Glyn's stay in the Big Brother house was learning how to cook spaghetti on toast. George Orwell would be proud.